• Emily

The Other Woman

Ahh, the infamous "other woman". Heart pounding yet? Did you get a little ticked off just now? Someone specific come to mind? Well, hold on tight because that other woman might just be you. Don't believe me? Just keep reading.

Catherine Olson, author of and admin to IG @Catniss___  once told me, "She's probably really nice and a lot like you" after I made eye contact with just one of the girls my ex slept with while we were dating. I know what Cat said was super simple, but it really changed my perspective on cheating forever. Not to sound all Carrie Bradshaw, but was I the other woman to her?

When a girl has solid confirmation that her man cheated on her, a lot happens. First is the gut wrenching, wind knocked out of you, nauseous, on another planet feeling. The next thing that happens can go a few different ways. It's typically sadness, rage, or sadness and rage. After things calm down a bit is your chance approach someone about the subject. Obviously the guy is approached, but why the girl? I understand it takes two to tango, but maybe she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Going back to what Cat told me... Maybe she was a lot like me and also fell for the charm of a sociopath. I out of all people should know how easy is was to believe his lies.

Another example comes from a 2006 movie John Tucker Must Die. Long story short, three girls find out they all are being played by the same guy and start throwing volleyballs at each other, then the new girl yells, "This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him you are beating the shit out of each other?!" One guy got three completely different girls to believe they were incredibly special and the only one for him. The girls then work together to humiliate him and break his heart. The End. Anyway, I guess the issue I'm trying to press is that a girls first instinct should not be to attack or humiliate another girl, but to dump the sorry ass and maybe have sympathy for the girl he was with. If you were mentally and emotionally taken advantage of there's a really good chance that she was too.

Years after my last breakup I learned a lot about what happened between my ex and the other girls. From telling girls I was a terrible girlfriend and always cheating on him to saying that we weren't actually dating and I was just crazy, I now understand how these girls also fell for his charm and lies. They should not be blamed for HIS actions. So, the next time you start feeling like you want to rip about another girls weave, take a deep breath and remember that you might be the other woman to her. 

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